Wednesday, July 27, 2011


note to self #131: boxcar

That hideous scar on the comics landscape, jack kelly, is back with more note to self in a bundle entitled "obese anorexics." Did you have a good Comic-Con, jack kelly? A-bup-bup! Not another word, my good man, rest assured--I don't care! Also, stop criticizing boxing and NASCAR fans. Their interests are just as valuable to the American fabric as any other. I mean without boxing or NASCAR, how would brain-dead yokels entertain themselves? No, no, besides Family Guy. Exactly--it's like enjoying a Seth MacFarlane show, except with the fringe benefit that inevitably the beer-chugging constituents will soon enough come to fisticuffs and enable some voluntary herd-thinning in the invariably ensuing brawl. It's Darwinism at its Ed-Hardy-bedazzled finest, jack kelly.

note to self #132: rap must end

jack kelly, I don't know where you get off making a slight against rap. It's a perfectly valid and valuable art form. That's right, ART form. If it weren't for rap, how would I ever be able to publicly and rhythmically voice my utter contempt and sub-human estimation of women? That's right. Rap music. Thank you, Kool Herc!

note to self #133: trigonometry

Oh, jack kelly, you miserable wretch, you're just jealous that a 12 year old can find the surface area of a rhombus and you can't. Loser. Also, what's a rhombus? That's a thing, right?

note to self #134: diversity

What a heartwarming message, jack kelly: verily, all shapes and sizes can be punched in the neck by testosterone-addled jocks. Also, I don't know how, but I'm pretty sure that was a racist joke, jack kelly, and that's something I cannot stand for. If I do, the Mexicans will steal my chair.

note to self #135: logos

You're one to talk, jack kelly. You're too stupid to draw good. Or something. Cow fart.


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