Wednesday, July 6, 2011


note to self #116: scumbags

So here's jack kelly, author of note to self with a collection of comics under the theme of "obese feces pieces." First is a comic about lit majors. What an absolute waste of time and talent, amirite? What kind of intellectually selfish, ego-maniacal tool studies lit theory rather than something productive to humanity like a science. Or Egyptology.

note to self #117: one hit one derr

Please, jack kelly, spare us all and leave the masculinist humor to the professionals.

note to self #118: priorities

Please, jack kelly, spare us all and leave the scatological humor to the professionals.

note to self #119: socball

Look, jack kelly, just because you don't like soccer, that's no reason to zzzzzzzz.

note to self #120: celebrate idiocy

Sorry, jack kelly, you know I always fall asleep whenever we talk sports. Now where were we? Oh, yeah! How dare you insult such magnificent artists as Roman Polanski and Woody Allen? They're bringing art into the world (admittedly amongst other...things). But make no mistake, what Congressman Weiner did was unforgivable.

Maybe if the congressman would have spent less time endeavoring to get childishly stubborn Republicans to vote to approve a humane compensation bill for 9/11 victims or getting childishly stubborn adults to acknowledge their active refusal to do their jobs properly, and instead would have focused on making movies to dazzle the masses, then perhaps he'd get to keep his career. It's not like he's entertaining us, jack kelly, he's just trying to advocate for humanity and justice for people he's never even met. Screw him. Besides, jack kelly, it's not even like he was injecting himself upon young girls or anything so prestigious, he was sending pictures of himself to girls who were flirting with him online. Big difference, jack kelly, you delusional moron.

How many times do I have to tell you? It's simple: if you assault a girl barely into her teens, you get Oscars, pardons, and international renown; if you cheat on your girlfriend with her daughter barely out of her teens, you get Oscars, clarinet solos, and international renown; if you tweet pictures of yourself to flirts, you lose everything. Simple. Look, jack kelly I get that you have some demented desire to defend someone who's affecting reality more directly and more actively than any movie ever could, but face facts: Congressman Weiner is a scumbag who could have avoided all these problems if he just would have worn a director's beret while sending creepy pictures of himself to people. Stop being such a short-sighted idiot and blindly defending him, all right?

Now c'mon, jack kelly, let's agree to disagree already; I gotta go--I'm missing the Jeffrey Jones marathon on TV. That dude is such a great actor.


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