YDN_sls.ForestGumption

Craft a careful letter, making sure your parents know it's all their fault, it's Sick Little Suicide #12 - "Forest Gumption," in which I respond to a call for a Parents'/Family Weekend piece only to get bumped.

It's like the grandpa from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory adopted some bratty kid 8 million times his junior.

Easter Eggs: "Hi Mom"* on wooden post. Stan Laurel from Laurel and Hardy.

Fun Facts: *My mom won't get to see this in the paper while she's here for the weekend because they bumped me! Staffship and seniority mean nahssink. I miss the good old days, PFM.

Baa: When I was little, one of my uncles told me after I got a cut, that lemon juice and salt would help heal the wound. To my surprise, this just made it hurt more, and I later learned that he just wanted to see me in pain.

Ok, so I'm told this will get printed Monday or so, but I can't sit on this until then, since timing is everything. So much for dazzling celebrity parents this weekend with my quick wit so that they will magically hire me for their companies and I won't have to worry about my future. YDN, you're...super duper.

Reuxben