Fun_InkTestaV

As is my nervous tradition, I did a quick materials test to prepare for Inktober this year, including a file-prep session so I can remember how to upload and post art here.  I thought last year might be my final run, but I decided to give it another try, but man, this test has really spooked me that I'm extremely rusty and will have to spend too many of the 31 pieces getting re-acclimated to traditional art.

I didn't want to do another year because first, for all the brutal effort and physical exhaustion and monstrous withdrawal (I pretty much step back from everything else to focus on these), it felt like it was ultimately fruitless--it's my most successful period every year, with a bunch of people tuning in just for this month, but nothing comes of it, apart from a few new subscribers.

Second, the Inktober brand seemed to have been a bit tarnished by the controversy that emerged last year around the event's founder, so it appeared to be a good time to head out, anyway, plus it was a nice, clean 5-year mark for MTGinktober, specifically.

But I convinced myself to get back into it, as long as I can muster it (as long as my body and materials hold out--and we've certainly been running low; I noticed my eyes straining even on this piece) because I'm such a sucker for habit, and I can't fight the feeling that this will be the year things turn around and something happens.  I recently picked up two quite influential subscribers, so there's a chance really important people will see my stuff if I can just deliver.

Not to mention, Magic itself just unveiled its own official prompts, which may be a small pond for me to big-fish in, since there aren't too many Magic fan artists, let alone ones who are willing to stick with a 31-day run--MTGinktober hasn't really gotten anyone else on board in half a decade, and people randomly joining Inktober with Magic-themed art are either short-lived or non-exclusively Magic-related. 

But what freaks me out, after this simple test drawing of Vicky, is that I notice my hand and arm are frighteningly unsure from all the digital focus--I only draw loose gesture drawings traditionally, but everything else is digital, so I am severely out of practice on fine, traditional drawing.  On top of that, my limited ink supply, which is slowly aging out, feels a little clunky, and the notebook I found and planned to do my run in is feeling fidgety--look at how easily I got several smears...gonna split up some old paper I did my last few pieces on, I guess.

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FanArt_Calt.Flarmy

I didn't realize I never posted the final to that old Florrie-inspired Torn Alter Token, so here it is at long last.

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Fun_ChocoChippo

Sometimes for stress relief I'll draw on stuff I know I'm gonna throw away, like this old cookie box.

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Fun_Wall

Just got an urge to draw a traditional sketch after seeing one of those 100 yen pocket sketchbooks at Family Mart...I even added a new, gorgeous B99 Copic to the cheemu.

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Fun_YellowJournalism

An older Vicky sketch back from when I was clearing out my last pocket sketchbook.

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Fun_ExtryExtryJoe

A Vicky sketch after seeing someone wearing something similar at the station. My pocket sketchbook helps me be a little less precious, including live-inking the background with one of my lesser-used brush pens.

The background text is basically a summary of Coverage Draft's premise, written as illegibly as possible to still remain legible. I wanted to get wacky with the pose and kinda blew it.

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FanArt_KidsLoveIt_Pt3

And now the swilling conclusion to our Pan-art series, Pan-Pizza pondering a pint-sized personaje, though did I hear right, he doesn't actually use a stylus?! Take it easy there, Adam Hughes.

His comic, Loki IRL has a couple real-world undercurrents to it, and that's what makes the comic really resonate with me, though the more fantastical elements are neat ruminations on common influences, too.

As for his webshow, it's inspirational how well and thoughtfully he puts his work together. One of the things I hate the most is people passing off poorly-made stuff as good enough, and you see that constantly on the Internet, like people don't even want to try.

Do or do not, but there is no excuse to not-try.

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FanArt_KidsLoveIt_Pt2

Ok, continuing our Pan-art series from last year is ChewPoe from Loki IRL by Pan-Pizza.

One Mehxican to another, I'm pretty sure ChewPoe's name is a pun on chupo from Spanish. Anyway, this was the character that made me want to do this whole series (the previous ones were just sorta warm-ups), because I wanted to try drawing this dude with negative space and detail his mouth with color pencil.

The trick from the get-go was not overdoing this one, or I'd lose the ghostly effect I was looking for. I wanted to color his entire body with the same white pen I used for the stitches, but...that felt like cheating on the negative space restriction, I compromised with some soft shadows near the bottom.

Milky Mint here was the piece right before Chewie, and she was tough because it wasn't quite clear how she was constructed, so I felt more liberty to interpret, but then you don't know what's too far to antithetical.

I knew her being featureless was a defining feature, so I had the Copics do most of her facial definition. Again, the trick here was not going overboard on the figure, though being experimental in the other direction felt right for the background.

I'm not into the Yu-Gi-Oh school of rando shapes and colors as backgrounds, but thought some kind of spotlight/pixel-y vibe might work since she's in media. This was the first piece where I started inking with one of my colored pens, rather than just using it for finishes, inspired by Scott M. Fischer's bold inks.

Ok, Friday's the Pan finale...wonder who it could be...

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Fun_KidsLoveIt_Pt1

Wasn't sure what to post for the 2016 finale, so I decided to go with something that may be indicative of the future...fan art. I've always had mixed emotions about going overboard on fan art, but...2017 will be a year of putting myself outside of my comfort zone. So here is Wavebird from Loki IRL, by Pan-Pizza.

I ended up doing a series of 5 Pan-inspired pizzas. I mean pieces. It all started with wanting to draw one character in particular, who will be up Monday. I have a 100 yen pocket notebook I've been sketching in, and I should be clearing it by New Years' (tonight in Japan), so the Pan series was a nice little send-off for the bulk of the remaining pages, and after that I'll continue the march to focusing on digital...

Before going for the character I really wanted to draw, I decided to warm up with a simpler, more straightforward approach on Bianca, but soon enough I then wanted to try a more full-illustration approach as we moved on to Wavebird here, who is actually the fourth entry in the series.

I thought about working in some of my favorite video games, but settled on just doing a focal reference to Super Smash Bros. Melee, with only vaguely Majora's Mask and Windwaker-inspired blobs in the far background, in order not to detract with too busy of a background. The lower showcase has vaguely amiibo-like figures and a vaguely Pokemon poster, and the upper background is just riffing on a Gamestop photo since there don't seem to be any interiors of Game Splitters proper.

Here's what kicked off the "Kids Love It" series, Bianca, the heroine of Loki IRL. The background's negative space is supposed to suggest Loki. Clever right? Of course not. Obviously her more realistic trials and tribulations resonate with me...I wasn't laughed out of SD Comic-Con reviews or anything, but I didn't walk away victorious either, just sorta "k." Well, "Good stuff, keep it up!" What do you do with that?

Tokyo Comic Con was similar, though there was no dedicated review area, just casual talks if the artists had any time. The show was so tiny and only 1 or 2 tables saw any real swarming, with almost no rando review-seekers apart from me. I couldn't help but think it bewildering when any artists weren't willing to review. I've worked on the other side of the table as an assistant three times now here in Japan, and while I know how taxing a show can be...Tokyo Comic Con was not at that marathon, non-stop-people level.

Anyway, what were talking about? Oh right. More fan art in 2017. I'm happy we met our 2016 resolution for the most part (a couple pieces are still WIP) to get the site up to date, after the sparsely updated past couple years. So 2017's resolution is to continue staying current, do more fan art, focus more on digital, and most importantly(?) get at least three comics up, chiefly Coverage Draft, but also Splinter and Songs About Chie plus some SLSs. For now, the Kids Love It series will continue on for the next two posts.

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Fun_ChristmasCards_ZN

Continuing our Christmas sketch card series from last time, now we have Zero, but dressed as Ebenezer Scrooge, expanding on the hat theme.

Since he's our main dude, I wanted to make his portrait a little more special so I gave him a full costume, but also a little wreath noose.

I chose Scrooge because Z's a bitter, bitter dude befitting a "bah humbug" vibe, though ultimately, it does irk a little that he's the only one in full costume and portrait.

I wasn't sure what costume would best complement Z's for Nyao, but I didn't want to draw her as Tiny Tim or a ghost or something so I just went with the only thematically-appropriate "hat" that I could think of: reindeer antlers, which felt apt because it's animal-themed.

Hmm, maybe Z could have just gone with a top hat and pipe, so he's like a snowman? Anyway, Nyao's outfit was inspired by the Oakland A's...I've always loved how yellow and green look together.

Since Nyao is super strong, I gave her the bag of presents, plus she gets a cookie because I imagine she's eager to take the spoils of doing the work of distributing joy.

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Fun_ChristmasCards_VF

I decided to draw some Christmas-themed Copic portraits of my main characters in my little 100yen pocket sketchbook, first up Vicky Vasquez.

This came out a little more somber than I was envisioning, but, as I'm discovering, they kind of tell me what's going on as I draw them...she's a workaholic so she doesn't like being forced to take time off in December.

So she's kinda in shellshock mode without the constant buzzing and bustle of her regular work "life" to fall back on.

Next was Fred, which is a revamp of his first color scheme, based on a sketch from a random session.

This piece determined what I wanted to do with this little series: corresponding, minimally busy backgrounds using red or green, with a Christmas-themed hat.

Usually the guy of the pair is Santa and the girl is the elf, so I thought it'd be funny to switch it around since Vicky's the boss anyway. So, having done these relatively more straightforward shots, I knew I wanted to do the ZLM duo with a little more care next.

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Fun_TokyoComicConStory

I used to do a "shake" after SD Comic-Con, to use our old Herald terminology, where I sort of analyze what we learned from the event--so here are some things I got out of Tokyo Comic Con that I hope to keep at the forefront into the new year. I should note, while the event was much, much, much, much, much smaller than SD, it was even smaller than I was realistically hoping for, so there weren't a lot of review or meeting opportunities at all. I also don't get how some people would refuse to review...there was nothing going on a good part of each day. I've been on the other side of the table multiple times, I know there are thumb-twiddling, not-accomplishing-anything moments at every event, and people were not being hounded for reviews here as they might be in SD. If I am ever in the position to help anyone, carve it in stone: I will help whoever I can, whenever I can, if approached when I'm available. What cruelty otherwise.

Anyway, first thing off the bat, it's been a while since I've "showed," and I had an absolutely gross, roller-coaster feeling in my stomach all event--I could barely sleep (just laying in bed with my eyes closed, a phenomenon I absolutely hate, hence I tend to go to bed only when I'm about to collapse...I hate being in bed and not being asleep, but trying to go to sleep), so I just need to power through that..I'm not a social person, so it could be a "crowd" of one person, I still dread it. San Diego's easier because the days are longer and it a 5-day event, so you have plenty of time to numb your nerves. So, to try to deal with the nerved, I drew the little Zero sketch above the night before the event because I couldn't sleep or focus on more productive work, like prepping my files for print.

During reviews, I tend to focus almost entirely on note-taking, but I feel I should have asked more questions and generally been more active. The first reason I tend not to try to ask too many questions is above all, I feel awful taking up people's (anybody's) time, and asking questions always feels like a blatant "spend moar time on ME!!!" demand--this includes anything from an art review to asking the dude at 7-11 to microwave my bread. But I suppose if they're deciding to take time to review me, then I should take some liberty of ownership over the time they're granting me.

The second reason I hesitate to ask questions is that I don't want to give any whiff of excuse-making, and I feel like pros are quick to sense that from reviewees, and this is something I myself see in less experienced artists. Almost immediately with rookies, there're qualifiers and explanations and all this fluff, rather than letting the art speak for itself. I frankly hate that, so I don't want to give any impression that I'm trying to lead their interpretation of a piece by asking something after they've given their commentary. It's just like in Magic--never make excuses; take ownership of your decisions and just accept their results, and learn from that, not monologues on manascrew. So even if I feel I have grounds for a question or disagreement, I always second guess myself because I feel it'll come off as I'm making an excuse or trying to influence them in some way. I know this is absurd because I am capable of stepping back and reading a situation as a third party, and because when I would venture a question, we'd subsequently have a productive discussion, but I still can't shut off that "how dare you speak" voice in my head.

That said, I do feel this was the first time I've felt like I was in a conversation with a pro, though, not just a pure student. I get so nervous, though, I totally blanked on Splinter and Coverage Draft, comics I've worked on for months...as if I was just improvising the story on the spot...it was the same way at school--I could know a subject front to back, but if having to deal with a human (not a paper) it was a coin flip if I could pull it together to present myself as informed and as prepared as I was or if I was going to come off indecipherable from some rando off the street riffing on a whim.

The other big takeaway was, as I had feared, I don't have enough variety in composition. All my stuff, as I was assembling it--even pre-assembly, as I was shorlisting files--tons and tons of bust shots; I ended up putting stuff in just because it had more body present. So top priority, I need to pull the camera back, more than just waist-up shots. People liked my comics, though, since those of course have more mobile vantage points. The other thing was one reviewer said I ought to put more story into the images, another suspicion I had during assembly. I've been trying to put more narrative into backgrounds, but the advisory seems to be to hit it head-on with multiple characters in one piece, for more apparent intrinsic storytelling. Appropriately, the last drawing I did before Tokyo Comic Con was that Zero bust sketch above, so to counter that, the first drawing afterward a sketch on the train of Fred and Vicky in front of a news kiosk, trying to put together a quick exploration of what I learned.

The last noteworthy thing I can glean from the event was that I need to pick a lane. This was floating in the back of my head, but hearing it out loud solidified it. I don't know what my "thing" is...am I painting or doing lines?...I love lines, I want to be a killer with linework...I feel pressured into painting and even coloring. But the unanimous winner was our linework stuff. In fact, our little monochromatic Zero was the breakout piece. I included him almost at the very last minute, but ended up putting him on the cover of the packet when assembling leavers in the hotel on TCC eve. I had intended to paint him, but secretly really loved the monochromatic treatment. I included him mainly just because it was as near to a full-body image as I had. But this was the one everybody responded best to, which was quite gratifying, though the Admiral was our best painting piece). Zero means more to me than anything else I could possibly do, so it was a pleasant, if quiet, victory. What were we talking about again? Oh right, pick a lane.

So the vibe my packet gave off was schizophrenic. I have to pick an aspect to focus on and just go all in on that, it seems--one reviewer said that piece to piece, they look like they could have been done by different people. The problem is I don't exactly-laser-focused know what I want, and I've always discarded notions of "style," since that was always like n00b code for "I suck, but these pieces all suck in a similar way, so that makes them good," it's like a type of intolerable excuse-making discussed earlier. I had always learned that style comes over time, eventually, naturally, and unintentionally...only amateurs try to force it. I don't know what my "style" is, and I dread even thinking about thinking about it. I draw as I draw. I don't know. It was unthinkable to try for style. But now, I have to? That's like learning that mothers drinking vodka actually helps their babies grow strong.

What is the goal? I just want to make people happy with art. I'll dance like a monkey to do that, whatever jig it takes, disregarding any personal happiness in the process, as I have for the past decade. My personal wishes don't hold much weight in my mind. But I do know I like lines, and I want to be insane at that more than being an insane painter. Color has always been a lower priority to me that I've felt pressured into. I don't even like most color comics to be perfectly honest...especially in the west, colors too often destroy lines, or even just act as a crutch for poor linework. I love JP comics because it's pretty much all black and white, so you live and die on your lines. Obviously when they do color, it's only a few pages and covers and stuff, and it's gorgeous, and that's more the pace I'd like. So I guess that's the decision, huh? Focus on linework. The rub is that nobody cares about lines. Everyone wants colors...

So as we look to next year, I have to pull the camera out, do more implicit storytelling in images, and tighten up (spam?) a style. Art, like Magic, isn't fun. It's a technical endeavor in the pursuit of perfection. So we need to be more perfect. Oh, also, while I grapple with these art issues, my country is destroying itself and reverting into an abominable amateur-hour version of itself from half a century ago, so good beats.

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Fun_Calt.TCCID

I should be off to Tokyo Comic-Con if everything's going correctly. I don't have any updated business cards, so I made a couple by hand, but probably won't even need them.

I'm writing this on Thursday. Feel like throwing up. Quite nervous. Hate talking to people and hyping myself, and now I have to do nothing but that...hate having to pick which pieces to define myself by, too, for the portfolio stuff...like...just tell me what you want and I'll do it...my gosh...hate this part of doing art.

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SLS_Home

Grin and bear it, it's Sick Little Suicide #26, "Home," in which we bask in the glory of the United States of America.

It is disgusting what that orange clown represents and enables. And it is disgusting that people eagerly contributed to the ideologies that perpetuated him, such as this outrageous Crosschecking scam, created by a Yalie of all people (though he's not the only defender of evil), that trashes minorities' voting rights.

Anyway, this started as fan art to my favorite poem, Paul Laurence Dunbar's "We Wear the Mask," which I find myself thinking on every now and then, but especially recently. I imagine President Obama--the President of the United States of America--has to do this. Even this great man. I don't like using the word "man" because it's such a loaded word, but he definitely qualifies. And now he has to entertain that orange idiot to fool him into not ignoring the one adult in the room. He has to wear a mask for a treasonous villain. That's where we are in 2016. But I'm confident he'll ultimately be victorious. He is good. And evil can't win.

From all the anger and disgust I got from reading those articles and stuff, I just wanted to draw a defiant black person in a smiling bandana covering her mouth, but then it turned into Alexis Blight, which made it more personal and painful for me. She's Nigerian, but from New Jersey, so she'd likely face this kind of stupidity at some point. She went to Harvard and Yale, and still has to deal with this garbage.

Anyway, it was fun just getting in there with the colors on the jacket and hair. I used to test colors quite extensively before, but I'm feeling more comfortable coloring from the gut. She's wearing reds and stuff because she's a Cantab at heart of course, but her mask is purposely a callback to the blackface caricatures of my country's illustrious past.

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Fun_ReddyToGo

Preparing for Coverage Draft with a sketch of Vicky. This is digitally adjusted to more closely reflect her actual skin tone, since the "final" felt a little too misleadingly light, despite the originating parameters.

I wanted to draw Vicky using only black and white and red all over, leaving the skin completely colorless, but what started as a nose mask with my darkest red colored pencil ended up extending over everything.

I went to move my paper to get a better angle while coloring her ID when I accidentally lifted the paper up to my open Copic, hence the stray mark on the nose. I contemplated leaving it vs. digitally removing it, but decided to try to muscle through, first with a failed white pen coverup, and then a colored pencil mask.

Originally it was just going to be strictly limited to BWR to reflect the newspaper/journalism theme, but I can never just keep it simple...I'm trying, but I always want to add more and end up overdoing it.

Anyway, I think we've got her down design-wise, at least...the photo in the background is from when I went to go see Motion City, by the way, outside Toho Cinemas, one of the very first places we visited during my Yale summer in JP.

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