Wednesday, February 16, 2011


note to self #21: moodring

Like a used-car tent sale, jack kelly returns with his series note to self. Up first is something that no good citizen should tolerate. Not now, and not any time of the month!

note to self #22: real men of genius

Aren't you clever, jack kelly, ripping off a respected and beloved marketing campaign geared at perpetuating the tolerance of a substance that has been responsible for so many deaths, accidental births, and everything violent and destructive in between! I oughtta buy you a Foster's, just to teach you a lesson.

And on top of that, you perpetuate the completely unfair assessment that Yale jocks and/or legacies are not as vital to Yale as normal Yalies. Ok, maybe legacies don't pull their weight to keep the electricity on at Yale, but targeting jocks?! What a jerk! I know I speak for the graduates of the classes of 1702 through 2010 when I assert that the reason everybody wants to go to Yale is for the sheer and nigh-immortal international prestige of its athletics and that the academic stuff is just kind of a fringe benefit of enrollment. Ugh, what an idiot. And yes, by "jock," I know you mean all Yale athletes as opposed to just the usual oblong-ball-touching suspects, primarily because of that ugly, longstanding stereotype of the Yale tennis team being chock-full of morons, for instance. And don't even get me started on the cruel things real Yalies say about the track team, assuming running's a sport.

Oh, yeah, and real classy throwing Cornell in there as an afterthought. Assuming Cornell's in the Ivy League.

note to self #23: worst seller

Yeah, I'd buy your book jack kelly, like a thousand copies, and then I'd totally burn them! And then every time they restock, I'd buy those new copies and burn those, too. That'll teach you, jack kelly, you smarmy bat turd!

note to self #24: american

I knew it, jack kelly, you ARE a racist! How dare you use the phrase "wetback" in a comic. I don't even have to see the context, I know automatically that makes you a racist. You racist.

jack kelly's a racist,


1 comment:

James said...

I LOL'd at the first picture...