FanArt_Blx

I've been listening to US history and race and civil rights era documentaries and stuff lately, and greatly wanted to do a more serious Black History Month piece.

This study was done on just three layers with the Steve Ahn's Ultimate Brush, flat opacity, so there's not much more behind the scenes to make it plain, but I did blur a bit above these base layers (foreground, middleground, background) and add some noise and a gradient map to make it look a little more like the still from the Malcolm X documentary where I observed him and Martin Luther King, Jr. in the same room!

Not normal,

Reuxben

Fun_CCHopHop

A drawing inspired by Grace Hopper College, previously known as Calhoun College. Back when I was an undergraduate, it was called "Calhoun College," and we liked it. Famous 'Hounies include...uh...Demetri Martin '95, who's apparently currently voicing a supreme "white bear," as they're called in Japan. And uh...I'll think of others, give me a minute.

As for Grace Hopper, I was blown away with how accomplished she was after reading up on her. She is quite an inspiration and definitely someone worth having pride and tradition in. Calhoun's current mascot is officially "the fire," if I recall, so I sincerely hope they ditch the vaguely-defined unofficial firey 'Houn dog mascot for a graceful bunny. It's such a flexible mascot, too, I can see plenty of adaptations to any circumstance from a cute, literal bunny to a more personified one, or even just an ironically intense battle bunny. "Beware the Bunny," and similar chants are a natural fit. So for my take on the mascot, I wanted to have a kinda graceful bunny-girl with that Hopper hairdo and her specs to boot, plus carrotty accents, and big, floppy ears and feet. The sailor outfit and quasi-military jacket are Naval nods to Hopper's career.

Who else was in Calhoun, by the way...(looks up the CC Wikipedia page) wow, Claire Danes (pretty sure she headed off early, though, or was that Jodie Foster? Wow, hey, she's Calhoun, too!), oh--Jonathan Coulton '93! I saw him give a Tea with the Record. Ah, neat he and John Hodgman '94 were both in CC, that makes sense. And what?! Kurt Schneider '10! I had no idea he was Calhoun! I used to watch him play in a band with Jake '09 on the street on Broadway Night and stuff, they did an incredible medley as their closer. Whenever I could, I'd just sit there and sketch as they'd loop through their set. I also got to see him play with the Sandy Gill Affair at the Space. I guess because of that band I always thought he was Morse or Stiles (shudder).

Anyway the racial stuff surrounding Calhoun never really came up in any notable way my entire four years, as far as I was/am aware. Granted, I was in JE (Jonathan Edwards), so my cognizance of CC stuff was limited (plus nobody really cares about Calhoun College, come on). Actually, one of my art heroes transferred from Calhoun into JE, come to think of it, so that kinda seals the deal, doesn't it? Answer: yes.

I'm not black, but I am a minority, so I guess I get to have an opinionish on the name. I myself was actually in favor of them keeping it Calhoun (I only heard of Hopper after they announced the change). I love the idea of that disgusting mark of our university and national history being so prominent as a college name because it disallows us to run or hide from our history, and meanwhile everything we represent and strive for and achieve flies flatly in the face of that racist's ideology. With every victory, we prove how pitifully wrong he and his ilk are and reshape the name into new meaning. Plus it's just an intangible name, which itself is not inherently tied to some vicious meaning, unlike say, a statue or something like that with immutable properties; you can reclaim the name as you will.

During my years, the master of Calhoun was even black, one of the coolest most popular professors on campus, and now he's the Dean of Yale itself! Justice doesn't get sweeter than that. Side story: one heavy winter as we were all preparing to leave for break, Master Holloway helped a Hounie make her shuttle bus by personally dropshipping her and her luggage to the pickup site via his car so she wouldn't miss her flight. He didn't need to drive or trudge around in the snow to help an outta-luck student, but he did. I was floored seeing such kindness. That's my greatest CC memory.

But I understand the desire to move past the Calhoun name, much like Pierson College (appropriately shorthanded as "PC") long retired its former college mascot with such precision and thorough eradication that you would be hard-pressed to find a student who could identify the character that Pierson people rallied behind in the early days of Yale College life. Look through the archives carefully enough (the JE library has a neat Yale history volume) and you'll learn that Piersonites in the mid 1930s gussied up for their annual plantation-themed formal and assuredly at some point in the evening, conversation would drift to boasting about one recent intramural meet or another and how well the Pierson Slaves did that week.

Not normal,

Reuxben

SLS_X

Mark the spot, it's Sick Little Suicide #29, "X," in which we cross out everything we knew.
I actually drew this for the US's inauguration day proper, though it was the day after for us in Japan ("my" day-of piece was this old number).

Fun Facts: I wanted to draw as minimal a piece as possible with as much packed in as possible, and this is the most straightforward piece I've ever done, two lines over a solid background. At first it was to be a solid field of black, then no more than an x'd out orange field, but these didn't go far enough, so we ended up with the final above.

Easter Eggs: Brown and black comprise the X to signify the minorities who must unite to oppose that garishly omnipresent, loud, orange fraud. The brown dash is closer to us since, hey, that's me. From our perspective, the X centers slightly left, signifying progress and the necessary willingness to insist on some progressive action and coordination regardless of individual tastes. The X also hits upon the orange's right (if it's facing camera in opposition to the X), meaning the X has to target the right, the source of this strife. Finally, I set my brush to solid and 100 so that it is unmistakable that we must be united on this effort.

We have to be in this together because we are. It benefits no one to in-fight or appease the foul. The solution should not be a one-way street of having to understand people who are in league with racist values or who remove themselves from any reasonable understanding of reality; there are certain things that are simply unacceptable today, absolutely least of all in any official capacity. We stand at the brink of an era of actual, genuine evil--harm to the helpless, cowardice to truth, suppression of freedom. We can't succumb to evil. We are the United States of America.

Not normal,

Reuxben

Fun_TiredBox

I'm writing this after the election. I kept posting on the daily features (Twitter and Instagram), but just didn't have time to update here, but here is MTGinktobber Day 25, "Tired," featuring Chandra, who I call "Eye of Chandara" because of that one Das Racist song where Lakutis says "Eye of Thundera," and I just love how those syllables hit. The linked song has strong language. Anyway, drawing this series has been exhausting and at this point I was drawing this at like 4 or 5am. I did enjoy the actual physical and mental tiredness. But I have stopped being vigilant about working since the election, and I have allowed myself to sleep again, no alarms.

Anyway, it is extremely difficult to pretend any of this stuff matters, but I'm trying to press on. I won't hide the disgust and shame I feel. I want it known that I feel ashamed of my race, gender, and country. This "we'll get 'em next time" stuff is simply not to my taste. We shouldn't be in this position. This is how I've felt my entire life--people flocking to the loud, empty windbag meanwhile the reserved ones have to prove themselves over and over and over and not always winning. I don't like Hillary Clinton, I don't think she's cool, she may not even truly be kind--maybe whatever acts of kindness she commits are meditated and everything's a scheme and chess move to her. I don't know.

But I do know, I know, that doesn't matter if what she does and how she conducts herself helps and benefits good, deserving people. And just as equally I know that she can't act to hurt people if they haven't earned it. We put people in prison if they are bad--depriving someone of freedom is not good, but we do it when we must, and to the best of our abilities we commit this only to people who have earned it beyond the shadow of a doubt. Obviously I'm not so naive I ignore that just people still go to jail and evil people still roam free, but that is not the intention of the system. I know it's abused at times. Everything good can be abused. Every single thing. Drink enough water and it will kill you. That's not the intention.

Pick your favorite President (who served more than a month, Chuckles McGoo). That person has sent people, even young people, to their deaths in some capacity at some point somehow. Our people or other people. Every president must kill in some way--war, some law they pass that initiates the course of events leading to some rando killing another, some key resource deprivation that somehow shaves one day off someone's life they otherwise might have. Every president must hurt somebody somehow in some manner. But it is generally unintentional hurt. I know, I know, I know she cannot possibly derive pleasure from inflicting hurt upon others as that orange fraud clearly, demonstrably does. It is not hypothetical, it is freaking public, it is on tape, in print, on record, it is documented on every form of modern media we have in existence.

But let us grant that she does take joy in hurting others. It cannot possibly be greater than that which the orange idiot publicly does. Let us assume they derive an equal amount of pleasure from hurting others. One is at least so extremely private about it, the FBI could not prove it. Hostile foreign forces invading her privacy could not expose it. Decades of enemies could not bait it out. The other of hypothetically equal schadenfreude does not even feign to hide the joy he derives from hurting others, and has done so for literal decades--that is manifest, injurious behavior over the course of series of tens of years. If you must accept both as equally hurtful and pernicious, how do you take the blatant person over the one you may well go to the grave having no actual proof of longstanding, interminable hurtfulness?

Anyway, at the time of drawing this, I passed the 10 year anniversary of having this little plastic star in my pocket, which I got soon after moving into Farnam, my Freshman Year dorm at Yale. Yale remains the only years of my life where I have felt comfortable, relevant, and valuable. I miss it so much. I always capitalize Freshman Year because it was so important. Obviously I was a wreck just, what, four months later? As early as December, for Christmas dinner at Commons, I remember starting to feel like an outcast, but the outright rejection in March or April was life-defining. I suppose I should loathe Yale, but I love it. It gave me art. It gave me no other choice but art. And through art I achieved personal value. I reject that garbage of "everyone's special," and "A for effort," and all that. You need to earn it. I earned it then. I knew nobody, I was the first of my family to go to college, I had no friends, I refused to drink or party or live so that I could do art, and in the end I became of value to people I didn't know. People respected my work and knew nothing of me, and that is what I cherish of my Yale years. It was that you don't have to know or like me to respect my work.

This star is beat up and worthless, but I always, always, always have it on me in my pants pocket because it is one of the very first memories I have of being at Yale, being a Yalie. It was from a Duracell battery pack I bought for a flashlight shortly after moving in. I was the only one of our suite assigned a roommate, who I still hold dear, even if he never knows it (I despise the word "friend," but he's up there, like a "hall of fame" or "ally emeritus" type deal). I hanged the star outside our door facing into the dark, empty FB01 hall, where it blinked steadily and incessantly after activation until it eventually died. It was included in the pack so kids could clip it on, particularly during Halloween so they could be safe in the dark. I basically haven't been in touch with people from Yale since graduation because I still don't feel worthy of talking to them. They are all achieving great things, and I am just screaming, blinking into the darkness.

However, with this Inktober series, I have finally managed to reach some new people, but I expect as always, nothing to come of anything. I write assuming no one actually reads the text--it has always been for me not to forget more than others to read. People just pop in for the art and get out, and that's fine, I expect nothing more. It has always been about the art first, everything else is just DVD extras. The text on this site is an unnecessary accessory to already unnecessary work.

This was our MTGinktober for Day 26, "Box," with Tymna the Weaver, who I thought might be able to have some kind of weaving magic that would allow her to sort of manipulate thread into a box shape. She's also sitting on a block of marble, which is supposed to be another box-like element. I wanted the threads to feel like a web, concentrated around her head, and her jewelry and hair to feel like a spider resting on her head.

I don't get why Wizards of the Coast doesn't make even one of their "core" Planeswalkers black or dark-skinned. They're all just shades of white. Even Chandra, whose complexion perplexity I've discussed in the past. I have no ill will towards Wizards on this, they can absolutely do whatever they want--I care about the game itself infinitely more than I ever could about its artistic trappings and I have no actual investment in race (again, I myself was raised with no strong racial identity--which perhaps makes it more disgusting that people of my race were just gullible enough to fall for a malicious fraud, owing to traditional trends of priorities in our racial identity). But if they are truly, truly serious about representation and stuff, they can silence any grounds for accusations of tokenism by making their main cast--not supporting (here and there popping up), not key (important for a specific block or set), but main (these are the dudes we will throw in your face at every opportunity)--yes, their main cast more diverse.

It struck me the other night, walking home...the reason I care about this specific thing and not race in general is because whenever you see the "hooray diversity" stuff, it always feels not quite right, not quite "honest." It clicked after seeing this one comic--I wish I could remember where I saw it--but a westerner did a short "manga" comic where a mysterious manga lady is walking down the street, gets alarmed by a runaway cat, then a little manga black girl emerges to collect her wily cat, apologizes, and then asks the manga lady if she wants to pet her cat. Manga lady politely declines because she's allergic, goes home, etc.

The immediate thing I felt was, "Why does the little manga girl have to be black?" Then I thought, "Why am I thinking this? What is making me think this?" It's because I don't normally see black people in manga. "How do I know a non-Japanese artist drew this?" The manga styling was a clear, but with that signature "not just quite manga lines" vibe, so this indicates this is supposed to feel like a Japanese work, but if this truly were, it is almost a dead certainty the little girl wouldn't have been black. That means the author intentionally chose the girl to be black. Why? To make the piece and thus the comic's world feel more diverse, above all. What does that mean? It means the author recognized a deficit in representation of dark-skinned people in manga and sought to correct for that under-representation. This is on paper a positive effort. But ultimately, to me, it rang as somehow dishonest (not in a malicious way, clearly in an unwitting way). I couldn't figure out exactly why it felt this way, but then it clicked on my own walk home.

The side character, not the main character--who we follow before the cat and after the cat, meaning this short was about her from her perspective; the story was not about the little girl--the incidental little girl was black. Both could have been boys, white, older, same age, aliens, nigh whatever. This story was about the twist at the end; any sort of identification on the two characters was pretty much arbitrary because the story called for no special particulars other than that the main character is alone, has an uncontrolled negative interaction with an agent the audience is assumed to like, a separate responsible character offers a positive interaction in compensation, the main character declines, and then leaves alone for the twist where the main character nevertheless has a positive, controlled interaction with extremely similar agents. There was so limited interaction between the two, there could even be only severely limited room for romantic subtext, it was as straightforward a story as you could get. So free from any narrative-driven mandates of depiction, we can examine any existing depictions in either character as results of more than non-arbitrary choice-making.

I should preface that it is surprising how some people simply don't realize this, but drawing is not like taking a photo or writing a sentence--in drawing, you must determine depiction. You must make choices, on everything. I have a pencil in my hand. What does that mean? You know what it means. But if I draw that sentence, I have to decide--

Who is "I"? What does that hand look like? How realistic is this? Are we sketching in pencil? Going to Copics? Sketching on the tablet? Does the hand's skin color get reflected? Is this drawing black and white? Is there grayscale? Mere tones? Is it simply enough just to draw the hand and the pencil, or do you expect to see the arm or body or setting? What is the setting? Does it matter? Is there a background? Do we just indicate a desk or something? Back to the pencil, is it traditional? Mechanical? Is it sharpened? Do we show it's been used? How used? Does it have an eraser at the top? Oh, how about we make it traditional so I can draw nibble marks into the pencil because it'll feel more real and cool. I don't have a traditional pencil, so why don't I just draw my actual mechanical pencil? It'll feel way more real if I draw the actual pencil I use! Do we change the brand of the pencil? Do we need to include it? Can we make a neat little joke or pun with the brand? Dude, you know what would be funny, draw it literally--a pencil jabbed in a guy's hand.

--There are an insane amount of tiny little decisions you must make when you draw anything. At some point everything has some degree of intention.

The author chose to draw two females, one of which was a little girl who was black. They made that decision. Who knows why for certain, but I would deduce it was to make the environment feel more welcoming. But it doesn't feel quite "true" to me, meaning it doesn't feel like it accomplished its mission to make the place feel more inviting because nevertheless, it was not the black girl's story. It was about the manga-white main character. That is how I feel about Magic. I'm not saying they're being dishonest or mean or even misguided, I'm saying they are not achieving what they seem to be striving to achieve. I appreciate what they're endeavoring to do, but this is why it just doesn't quite resonate with me as a minority. I don't enjoy Magic a drop less or think less of the people behind the decisions. I love and advocate for Magic as a game and artistic vehicle as passionately as ever, and for the story as ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ as ever.

My gosh, why are we talking about this, oh, right, distracting myself from the reality of post 11/9. Look, enjoy the art.

Reuxben

Fun_SadHidden

MTGinktober continues with "Sad," which is probably my favorite emotion, featuring Jhoira of the Ghitu, as depicted by the legendary Kev Walker.

I thought for a good while what to do when I got this prompt, and initially started trying to think of my saddest Magic memory so I could maybe channel that into a more tangential fan art, but ultimately decided to see how emotastic we could go on an official character instead. Looking at my notes, I had Gisa, Jhoira, Feldon, Liliana, and Pia Nalaar shortlisted after briefly considering Chandra (even looked up reference from that old Chandra manga, which I guess is retconned away now?).

I was just about done with the face and when I pulled the trigger on Jhoira over Gisa (despite longing to interpret Karla Ortiz's work!), with the deciding factor being the hair: I felt Gisa's veil/helm/sombrero just limited how expressive I could go, so I costumed our figure with Jhoira's garb and that left me free to let the hair play a larger part in the emotion of the piece, sorta evoking despair or doom for Jhoira.

I don't usually like my stuff too much, but I have to say I'm actually pretty happy with this one. I tend to take on the emotions of my figures while I'm drawing them, and I even unconsciously make the same expression, so this one really got to me. Even looking at her now, I can start to feel the emotion welling up in me. Haven't felt that way with a piece in a long, long time. I took inspiration from Slow Motion for the background and gesture, but had to guess on most of the bracelet--I did manage to sneak a Planeswalker logo in there. In my head, she's getting left behind in a time rift or something, and is crying for the viewer to stay or take her with, or it's possibly even just her accepting severance.

Next was "Hidden," which I decided to use to depict Talinthas, from Tumblr, who wrote an incredible article on racial depiction in Magic (Kaladesh specifically), who I first noticed when he spoke some quiet, respectful, but powerful words at the PAX Kaladesh World-Building Panel Q&A.

I should note I am a dark-skinned Mexican-American, but I hold no particular fondness for my own race any more than say, how I think it's mildly interesting that I have looped fingerprints or that I like water as my beverage of choice. But I was almost moved to tears at the passion in his article; the utter frustration and disappointment in his account of Kaladesh rendering his identity hidden and relegated to tissue-thin window-dressing were incredible. Speaking of the broken promise of finally receiving an Indian-flavored plane to add to the pantheon of depictions in the Multiverse, he wrote,

Not only was the invite no longer in the mail, but the party was at my house, and I was sent outside to wait for it to end. --Talinthas, Kaladesh, you break my heart

So rather than a cheeky drawing of a girl commanding creatures with ninjutsu and morph or whatever, the article inspired a more "serious" take on what it means to be hidden in Magic. I wanted a sea of shadowy black with a chorus of cheery white faces to contrast his non-white optimism. I thought of simplified mask forms to echo that gorgeous Paul Laurence Dunbar poem, "We Wear the Mask," too.

From his article, I found it interesting that we share the same sentiment about self identification, which perhaps affects me more evidently as I must draw (that is, actively depict) people--there's always that uncomfortable moment not just on color pieces, but even BW, where I have to decide what skin tone I'm working with (a keen eye will notice I often just use gray drop shadows but leave the skin itself uncolored). As I've discussed before, my natural inclination is indeed simply to go "white." Not because I hate my race or anything, I just have been "programmed" to think "white." There's no maliciousness, just simple conditioning for as long as I can remember, "White is default/neutral/normal." And then when I look at my Copic collection, despite my efforts to collect darker skin tones, I simply have more expressive options for light skin.

In any case, I remember first really being confronted with considering these subconscious racial design decisions when reading fellow Mexican-American Jhonen Vasquez's posts on his Randy Cunningham designs, where he wrote, "I had Randy as a ginger and more of a regular looking kinda dude," (with the black guy being a bad guy, I noticed). This made me ponder, after Zim's all-white main cast (which was his show, unlike Randy Cunningham, which was just him being on character design), what did Jhonen Vasquez think about drawing white characters versus non-white? Were these racial decisions made out of obligation, were they even conscious decisions, was non-white even an option?

I recall from an old Zim DVD commentary that there was an issue Nick had when he wanted to use mariachi music in one gag, which is actually where I believe my interest in his take on racial depiction secretly originated. So I know he did at least have race in mind at some point somewhere during Zim, if only like me, in that I only care when race can contribute out of necessity more than anything (in the maricahi music's case, in service of a joke). I myself always feel this conflict between forcing self-identification (which, again, holds no personally strong relevance to me) versus "neutral" skin tones (which I understand is simply ubiquitous, but is in fact also my default programming).

I of course understand the viciousness of white-washing, particularly the cruel stupidity of robbing ethnic actors of movie roles they ought to have dibs on when the part "clearly" calls for an ethnic actor, like in the Avatar, DBZ, Prince of Persia, etc. movies. But when it comes to visual art, drawing white characters doesn't actually rob any non-white actor of a "job," so realistically, it's ultimately up to the viewer to feel unsatisfied with the art when it comes to race. However, the artist can choose to insert any projection they want, and more and more I feel compelled to "do my part" and at least have non-white depictions as much as possible whenever applicable rather than just mindlessly draw "normal." I remember realizing one day that my comic had no white characters, not out of some agenda, but because that was simply what the roles called for. I felt proud for not falling into the trap of "default mode," but then felt weird for feeling proud of that...but what does it matter? It's my art, I draw how I want, who cares.

I should note, as a "minority" (are we still called that these days?), I absolutely disagree with shoving race down peoples' throats for the sake of inclusivity; it feels insultingly phony--in the 90s, you'd always see these ridiculous pan-racial cliques on school-aged media, just sheer, absolute pandering--that offends me (plus, I mean, even as a little kid I realized the white kid would always be in charge, natch, and if any race had multiple representatives, it'd invariably be the white homie). All-white casts and stuff don't bother me (is it supposed to?) because I'm conditioned to perceive it as normal, but when it's in contrast to what a "role" calls for, then that's when it becomes an issue of poor depiction.

This is why I was so relieved to hear this guy, who has infinitely more qualification to speak on Kaladesh than me, to tell WotC Creative directly that Chandra Nalaar is bewildering. I mean, if she's white, let her be white; if she's not supposed to be white, then don't put on airs and cheap costumes. There was that mild curiosity that emerged back when Gideon suddenly got darker skin in the creepy little figures they put out, but WotC announced it was because they were officially changing this guy to be naturally more olive-skinned as they decided they had intended. So, if you have to use a mallet-based solution like that, then fine, who cares? Just announce "ok, we're changing Chandra to look more accurate to what we now envision her as," then change her, and be done with it. Or make it clear she's not actually supposed to be Indian-ish, and knock it off with the seemingly incongruous name.

Ultimately, I'd rather have an all-white cast that's white than an all white-cast that supposed to be multi-ethnic-ish; if the role calls for it, let that race have their due role and let that depiction flourish; to do otherwise is in direct opposition to WotC's ambitions to be inclusive (I believe this TV Trope is called "but not too black" or something like that). I myself don't particularly seek an Aztec-y or Mexican-y plane or characters because first, race as box-checking is insulting to me and secondly, my race as a general theme is largely uninteresting to me. But if a character is supposed to be from Azteckopia or whatever, seeing a white depiction there might be enough to make me feel how Talinthas does in his article about his own peoples' depictions or lack thereof.

Anywho, I love Magic for the gameplay above all else; the creative trappings have largely left me ever since, again as Talinthas so eloquently puts it, "Magic shifted from I am the Planeswalker to These dudes are the Planeswalkers and you’re telling their story through cards." I love the art, and as long as it's good, I don't actually care about racial depiction, assuming they aren't going around touting how great their racial depiction is meanwhile keeping all the true cultural representation under their sombrero.

Reuxben

ZLM_TokyoPoliceClub

At least you don't have to sit at the back of the chibivan.

Zero Like Me #180:
Tokyo Police Club


Easter Eggs: "Yale" in panel 2. Today's setting is not actually Tokyo nor a police club, but it is set in Japan, for what it's worth. Today's guest star is Umezawa. Today's title is a reference to the band Tokyo Police Club, who coincidentally has a song called "Your English is Good," which I'd argue's possibly their weakest song.

Fun Facts: Japan has a thing for light skin. It's undeniable. Lighter skin's best--from the ultra-white make-up of traditional Japanese beauty care to the depictions of their historical figures in ancient scrolls, you don't want to be dark. And yet when I came here, I discovered many Japanese people can be pretty dark! Like...me-level dark. Shocker given how much press light-skinned Japanese people get abroad. Being dark is a not a death sentence, but it's something of a dangit (for Japanese) or a novelty (for foreigners); the ideal is to be as light as possible.

Baa: I dunno. Is light skin is aesthetically more pleasing? I feel like I've been conditioned to think that. I read a ridiculously fascinating article a while ago about why there are basically only white-looking people in anime/manga. I wish I could find it again...but to put it roughly, it argued that Japanese people are so psychologically insulated that any drawings are made like how we westerners make stick figures, except the assumption is that unless otherwise specified, the person is assumed to be Japanese, if anything at all.

The article introduced the idea of a stick figure analogy. If I draw a stick figure what do you know about it immediately, with no context provided? It's male. It's white. Now if I draw that stick figure with a triangle-dress, what is it? It's female. It's white. In order for me to communicate this is a black man, I'd have to tell you that this stick figure represents a black guy. I'd have to go out of my way to make explicit the context of the stick figure otherwise it is assumed it's a white male, assuming you stop to consider what the figure represents at all beyond "this is a human."

And so it is, the article explained, with anime and manga characters: they're just humans, but pausing a second past that, they're Japanese if we must assume nationality. If we make the character pronounce our language weirdly, or dress him in ridiculobviously non-Japanese clothing, or otherwise make it painfully clear he's not from around here, then he's a foreigner. This then gets around to why all "Americans" in anime and manga are blond/blue/white people, but that's another discussion.

Wish I could find that article again...

Reuxben

nts_koolaidsmonkey

note to self #141: clear your throat and stop shouting
The author of note to self, jack kelly, insists that I run his hideous comics, under the banner of "kool-aids monkey," so here we go. First is a comic about the eyeball-bulging de facto epitome of Hispanic entertainer, George Lopez (seen here being an arrogant and ignorant cartoon character made of smoked and tenderized flesh) recently getting canceled. As a Mexican-American, I will sorely miss George Lopez as he was the only person of my kind starring on comedic TV, assuming both that his show counts as comedic TV and that I'm in any way sincere about this sentence, which I'm not.

I literally had a dream where I got in an argument with someone who tried to tell me I should support George Lopez over Conan just because we share an ethnic background, regardless of how pandering and cringe-inducingly embarrassing the George Lopez talk show was. I was arguing so furiously in my dream that I woke myself up. Which is ironic because the Lopez show tends to put you to sleep (if you can tune out the phlegm-graveled, constantly shouting voice and alarming sudden movements.)

Anyway, although it's a shame a human and the humans around him are losing their jobs, on the bright side, maybe George Lopez will now drop his astounding arrogance, learn that he is as far from being a national treasure as Woody Allen is from being father of the year, and hopefully he'll even go hack up whatever's been gurgling in his throat for the past two years.

But enough about the loss of a high profile Hispanic in mainstream media, now where is that new multi-ethnic Spider-Man produced by an all-white creative team I've heard so much about? My people have finally made it so obviously I just gotta buy it! Viva la raza!

note to self #142: oh how it stings
The only reason I'd ever go to the beach was because there was just the ever-so-slight chance that jack kelly would get stung by a jellyfish and I'd get to pee on him. Now what am I to do with jack kelly? Apple juice pranks, I guess.

note to self #143: raise your hand if you killed osama
Oh, jack kelly, again with the pretending you follow politics. Be honest, the only reason you have an opinion in this election cycle is because you can easily differentiate one candidate from the pack at a glance, much in the same way cops can differentiate me from a crowd of Yalies at a glance and just ask me for ID even though I'm clearly with my alabaster associates. And come on, jack kelly, you know if you had unlimited money, you'd just spend it on cutting edge research to figure out how to make poor people somehow have even less money, as any good rich person should do. Or at least you'd lobby to keep your rich-person tax cuts as if it were something righteous.

note to self #144: code black

Please, jack kelly, leave the ultra edgy jokes to the professionals. Like Tracy Morgan. He knows what's up.

note to self #145: why are you telling me this?
Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like if you didn't exist, jack kelly.

Reuxben

nts_suicidetendstobefunny

note to self #96: white people kill me
Regrettably jack kelly, author of note to self, will achieve his 100th post-Yale comic this week, in a bundle he's calling "suicide tends to be funny." He starts with a comic about how whenever minorities hear about another minority going to Yale, they first ascertain that going to Yale is indeed an extremely good thing and then subsequently engage in congratulatory language, as opposed to whenever every single white person learns a minority went to Yale--the white person already knows going to Yale is a good thing, so they immediately ask if sports were involved with the admission. If you ask me, it's minorities who are showing their insensitivity and ignorance in these situations.

People should assume the only way a minority got into Yale was not by studying every waking minute of high school, eating alone every single day with no friends save the historical figures found in his AP US history textbook, and going straight to and from school, but rather that the minority got into Yale via some sports-related bonus points on his application. Duh. I mean, that's how I did it, and I'm Mexican, the scummiest of minority scum, so obviously sports was my only hope of getting in. And goodness knows me and my fellow idiot jock friends got along great! I got into Yale without having to stunt my social development at all, and I couldn't have done it without sports! So thank you, sports, for making brown-skinned turds like me appealing to something as otherwise inaccessible as Yale!

note to self #97: shut up, nerd
Again, jack kelly's pulling some stupidity about equating US comics with Superhero comics. I mean who is so ignorant that they can't discern genre from medium? OBVIOUSLY superheroes is a medium, and not a genre. You cannot make comics in the US unless they have superheroes in them. Just ask The Spirit. So shut up with your defense of the medium, jack kelly, it needs neither your help nor your content. The medium of superheroes will happily regurgitate itself ad nauseum until all that's left is colorfully spandex-clad blobs of vomit and the shattered dreams of anyone with an original thought in their skull. US comics is simply superheroes, period, and that is all comics ever will be. This is America, jack kelly. Leave diversity to the lesser countries.

note to self #98: kinkos and in-n-out burger
Geez, jack kelly, did it ever occur to you that you're just not qualified to handle the butt-riddling task of making photocopies or making animal-style burgers? Oh, jack kelly, you arrogant little puddle of poo, just because you went to Yale and the employers will not shut up about how freaking impressive going to Yale is doesn't mean you should expect to be get the painfully idiotic position you're only reluctantly applying for. Obviously you could handle anything these community-college rejects could throw at you, but that's not important. All that matters is...I have no idea, actually. Blindfolds and cork boards with dart-pinned resumes on it, maybe? Perhaps the ignorance of an employer who can't realize that if they are paying money for someone to agree to do something, the paid person is then obligated to do it, despite any internal qualms he has doing such searingly undesirable work?

note to self #99: brutal
I knew it, jack kelly, your hatred of black people and women all come together in one comic. Smooth. May you soon be Amadou Diallo'd with all deliberate speed. And may I be there right with ya, if not to watch, then to participate, on either end.

note to self #100: this comic is proof
Classic, jack kelly. Did it ever occur to you that if you had been less focused on academics during high school, you might have made some friends so that you wouldn't be so socially crippled when you got into Yale, so that after graduation you could get some sweet Yale, old-boy-fueled job? As we just established in today's first comic, you should have did high school sports, you short-sighted stooge! That way you could let your grades drop a little in exchange for social skills, and then you could only manage to get into a mediocre college and--oh, wait, I see, but then you wouldn't have been able to get into Yale and subsequently acquire that sweet Yale, old-boy-fueled job...hmm...quite a predicament... How do you get into Yale while still developing socially?

Whatever. Just assume you got in somehow, okay? Ok. So once at Yale, you could then have joined highly social groups, like the Yale Daily News or the Yale Herald or the Yale Record. Oh, you did? Then what happened? OH! Duh, you chose to do comics instead of real contributions. Idiot. Obviously you're going to end up drawing in your room alone and communicating with people electronically 95% of the time, thus prolonging your social infancy. Well, tough luck, moron. If you truly had a Yale-worthy brain, you would have figured out a solution to all this. But we both know that since you didn't get into Yale for sports, you obviously just got in because of your skin color. Maybe next time you'll think twice about being born a minority, you idiot. Just imagine if you were white, you could do sports, be social, get into Yale, and then easily get your old-boy-perpetuation on. And then decades later you could get to ask subtly insulting questions to dark-skinned kids who got into Yale. Just like Elihu Yale would have wanted.

Happy hundreth, jack kelly, you urine-soaked sack of turd-urine sacks,

Reuxben

nts_disney'stylerperry

note to self #81: inferiority
To my personal lament, jack kelly, author of note to self, releases this latest alleged attempt at humor in a bundle entitled "disney's tyler perry." Up first is a comic that only draws further attention to the fact that regardless of how much we may hate Harvard, our hatred of Harvard will never eclipse our hatred of ourselves for our inability to get into Harvard. On the bright side, nothing prepares you for a lifelong love of failure and compliance like failing to get into Harvard and complying on settling for Yale, the beacon of second-place finishers and world-class would-be's. While the non-Ivy-educated masses may ooh and awe at our Yale diplomas, we Yalies are forever cursed with the knowledge that any knowledge we have is only slightly as good as the knowledge we could have attained at Harvard had we actually gotten into Harvard. As Yale University President Richard "Not as Rich as Harvard's President" Levin despondently bellowed to us on graduation day, to reluctantly ford us out into the world, "Yes, we're Yale, but also, we're not Harvard." Indeed, I've never forgotten those sage words, and I chant them daily as I contemplate how much life has trailed off into despair and frustrated futility since the (admittedly limited) auspiciousness of Freshman Year at Yale gave way to increasingly diminutive promise of a successful, happy post-college life.

Speaking of which, please give me a job because I'm smarter than you.*

*Unless you went to Harvard, in which case, I beg you please forgive my impudence.

note to self #82: superhero shonen
If this comic proves anything, it's that there are only two types of comics in the US: "anime" comics and superhero comics, or as I like to call the latter: "ugly" comics. Is it wrong to insist that comics extend beyond the kiddie sandbox of two (or three if you want to be generous) prototypical characters that were designed closer than ever to a century ago for the children and the illiterates of that time? Reject these stale archetypes, America. Embrace the characters designed for the Japanese children of only a couple decades ago! Only then will you understand what the medium of comics is truly capable of, rather than wasting your life away embracing the regurgitation of the regurgitation of regurgitated ideas. So grab your ragtag group of five or so friends (making sure to include at least one girl) and your favorite cockfighting creatures (including the especially cute yellow one that you arbitrarily treat more favorably than all the others), and go on an adventure into the untamed wilds of the infinite possibilities presented in shonen manga while you strive to become the greatest comics connoisseur in the world! And don't forget to hit up the hot springs. Every series has to include a hot springs episode. Hot springs are to manga what false deaths are to Marvel.

note to self #83: latinerds
Oh, jack kelly, you sly little racist, you. Did you really think I wouldn't catch that slight against my people? How dare you insist that me and my fellow mud-hued cockroaches can't be taught by anything but the streets, homes? Okay, fine, the streets and Edward James Olmos' fingers. Now if we can please hurry it up with your stupid comics, I have several episodes of George Lopez's hilarious late night talkshow on my DVR that I need to watch and loaves of Bimbo bread that I need to eat while I listen to blond, blue-eyed women scream at each other nonsensically in Spanish on any given Telemundo show as Don Fransisco's chin lard jiggles along.

note to self #84: family matters
So now you're into audio-literary voyeurism, are you, jack kelly? How about you stick to your own bee's wax and not listen in on people while they destroy their lives and their hitherto lifelong relationships with their incessantly idiotic interactions that defy the limits of illogicality with each additional syllable they exchange? If you don't have the guts to step in and advocate for a quick and obvious resolution to their pitiful squabbling, why don't you just keep your mouth and ears shut, and most importantly, how about you not write about their over-dramatized trivial problems in your stupid little cartoons for people to likewise anonymously leer over? There's something called tact, jack kelly, give it a try. See also: sterilization.

note to self #85: dog problems
Oh, jack kelly, I bet you think you're just terrifically insightful, right? Well I can see right through that poorly drawn yellow head of yours. And for the last time, you're not impressing anyone with your knowledge of advanced psychological terminology like "butt-clenchingly evil." I took Intro Psych, too, ya know. And if anyone's butt-clenching around here, it's you, you butt-clenched butt clencher. Now go clench your butt out of my face.

Reuxben

nts_oliviamunnisthejoke

note to self #71: physical
Unfortunately, jack kelly, of note to self, has not been shot in the eye, so his comics return for yet another go, starting with an absolutely disgusting peek into the private life of the life of privates. For the record, I've long held that jack kelly is like so much malignant matter, in that he needs to be sliced off of this website. However, I cannot afford health insurance, so that operation is still many payments away. Someday...

note to self #72: skype
And once again jack kelly strives to make wretched a perfectly wonderful service. Don't worry jack kelly, nobody's lining up for instant access to talk to you, least of all clients--and let's not even get into what kind of clients we're talking about here. Now go googlewhack your Wii because that tamagotchi hotmail won't won't let you digg his motherboard's xbox till it tweets. No, jack kelly, not even I know what I'm talking about anymore. But the important thing is that you do, so I think less of you as a result. Freaking creep.

note to self #73: abstinence
Oh, jack kelly, I am positive you would cry yourself to sleep regardless of your personal circumstances. You're only using the fact that you are a cold, lonely soul as a cover, I'm sure, but let's be honest, you have the warmth of an Otter Pop and just as much nutritional value. You will die alone, save for the coat of urine that will seep into the earth above your grave, the supply of which I will personally assure.

note to self #74: cookie jar
So the truth comes out, jack kelly, you are an anti-social toad because even from a young age you avoided all sorts of interpersonal connection, under the veiled guise of so-called satire and comedy. I don't know what's worse: that your plan resulted in you being so socially inept you literally talk to yourself for Dr. Phil-caliber remedial psychological comfort, or that you were just as unfunny in kindergarten as you are now. Either way, please see my commentary from note to self #73 regarding how you will die alone in a blanket of my urine. Idiot.

note to self #75: please fire olivia munn
Oh, jack kelly, if this isn't the post-it note calling the coward yellow! Why are you picking on Olivia Munn, and why are you tossing in Dat Phan, almost as an afterthought? Obviously Dat Phan is only ever an afterthought, but still, it's the principle of the matter. As for Olivia Munn, how dare you insinuate she is less humorous and has less personality than a comically-mistranslated fortune cookie? She's up there in one of the US's leading comedy venues, seen around the world, and is thus literally the face of Asian comedy for many people. That stature's gotta count for something, I mean, she wouldn't be up there in such a prominent perch if she wasn't talented, just ask Jimmy Fallon. Sure it's a lot of pressure up there, and yes, her other show fared just as predictably horrifically as Osama bin Laden in a staring contest with a bullet, and yes, she was just as devoid of personality and humor on the previous show she sputtered on for years with no signs of improvement--a triple-digit cable show that could actually get away with the only means of endearing Olivia Munn to its (admittedly simple and niche) audience, which is to say, putting her in lewd situations. But come on, if those two shows prove anything, it's that even if Olivia Munn is a mediocre actor, she's an even worse comedic actor who will strive till her dying breath not to improve--that's dedication.

Yes, there are incredibly talented Asian, female, and Asian-female actors out there who would kill for the opportunity Olivia Munn is presently taking a steaming turd on, and yes, Olivia Munn is not only reinforcing stereotypes about women being unfunny, but at least I forgot where I was going with this. Oh, right--Olivia Munn is painfully unfunny and is not only depriving more qualified individuals of mainstream opportunity, true, but she's also denying the audience of a good show, and she is single-handedly making The Daily Show, by now a full-blown comedic institution, worse off for suffering her presence. But The Daily Show, as a prestigious mainstream venue, owes it to its audience and--quite frankly to the world at large--to feature a great variety of performers and talents, so they should be commended for their commitment to diversity in hiring a token unfunny person.

If one thing is clear, it's that Olivia Munn's working on The Daily Show will surely inspire legions of young, female Asian girls to aspire to be as monotone and cringe-inducingly awful as her for years to come, be they clad in plunging necklines and gobbling hot dogs while men hoot and holler, or be they wearing pantsuits and butchering lines while men wonder how she got on The Daily Show after being known solely for being clad in plunging necklines and gobbling hot dogs.

In any case, jack kelly, I will say this: if I wanted to see a humorless minority attempt to mask a void of personality with poor attempts at comedy, I'd stare at me all day.

Reuxben

nts_owljowljewelry

note to self #66: smiiile
Well, jack kelly, creator of note to self, requests the displeasure of your company for "owl jowl jewelry," this week's collection of 5 cent comics, starting with a comic about jack kelly's feeble attempts at commiseration. Honestly, I've seen Nexus-6's with more empathy than jack kelly. The last time I saw someone so cold and robotic crash and burn while attempting to emulate human behavior, I was watching Olivia Munn butcher a Daily Show segment.

nts_nobuttypoopnobuttygethurt

note to self #45: back me up, ladies
Like a wad of plaque wedged between your gums, note to self, by that walking argument-for-abortion, jack kelly, returns with another set of comics nobody asked for, starting with a comic that is yet another entry into an already brimming file of evidence on how ignorant and pernicious jack kelly really is. How dare he suggest that it's gotten to the point where it's socially acceptable to characterize all men as idiots! What an idiot, man!

nts_speakamerican

note to self #21: moodring
Like a used-car tent sale, jack kelly returns with his series note to self. Up first is something that no good citizen should tolerate. Not now, and not any time of the month!

note to self #22: real men of genius
Aren't you clever, jack kelly, ripping off a respected and beloved marketing campaign geared at perpetuating the tolerance of a substance that has been responsible for so many deaths, accidental births, and everything violent and destructive in between! I oughtta buy you a Foster's, just to teach you a lesson.

And on top of that, you perpetuate the completely unfair assessment that Yale jocks and/or legacies are not as vital to Yale as normal Yalies. Ok, maybe legacies don't pull their weight to keep the electricity on at Yale, but targeting jocks?! What a jerk! I know I speak for the graduates of the classes of 1702 through 2010 when I assert that the reason everybody wants to go to Yale is for the sheer and nigh-immortal international prestige of its athletics and that the academic stuff is just kind of a fringe benefit of enrollment. Ugh, what an idiot. And yes, by "jock," I know you mean all Yale athletes as opposed to just the usual oblong-ball-touching suspects, primarily because of that ugly, longstanding stereotype of the Yale tennis team being chock-full of morons, for instance. And don't even get me started on the cruel things real Yalies say about the track team, assuming running's a sport.

Oh, yeah, and real classy throwing Cornell in there as an afterthought. Assuming Cornell's in the Ivy League.

note to self #23: worst seller
Yeah, I'd buy your book jack kelly, like a thousand copies, and then I'd totally burn them! And then every time they restock, I'd buy those new copies and burn those, too. That'll teach you, jack kelly, you smarmy bat turd!

note to self #24: american
I knew it, jack kelly, you ARE a racist! How dare you use the phrase "wetback" in a comic. I don't even have to see the context, I know automatically that makes you a racist. You racist.

jack kelly's a racist,

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