Fun_OnHarvardTimes

I know I already talked about a similar experience at Yale, but did I ever tell you about the time I went to Harvard and this one girl decided to go pee right next to me as I was sketching?

It started at The Game, of course, as there is no reason anyone would want to go to Harvard otherwise. I spent all day incognito, hiding from anyone who might recognize me bundled up in Yale hat and sweater and masked in layers of scarf, meanwhile I sketched scenes of socs schmoozing. The tailgate was pretty aight, in that the food was great. I loaded up on burgers and cookies and chocolate hot water. I felt torn because I wanted to go up to talk to people, but, well, y'know.

I couldn't afford tickets to The Game, so I just sat outside of the stadium sketching up the joint. My cover got blown as a JE '10 guy spotted me and insisted on the whole human interaction thing. Total emo buzzkill. So after he scoots off, and I stop wondering why I can't be more like him, I get back to sketching the stadium grounds from my solitary perch atop an empty staircase facing the busy scene.

Out of the corner of my eye I see a gaggle of Game-goers gathering on the ground floor. This one girl among them seems to be in a serious pickle, based on her antsy body language. She's consulting with the group, and they're all anxiously whipping their heads around, scoping out either a location or for a clear coast. It sinks in. She needs to pee. Bad. As she's frantically weighing her options for where to execute Order Sixty-Sick as privately as possible, she keeps looking in my direction.

So she bolts over to the left of the staircase where I'm drawing and jumps into a squat in the patch of bushes in my quiet corner of the campus. I'm sketching and sketching, hoping she goes away and that she's just joking around, but then I hear a trickling. A TRICKLING! I throw up a little in my mouth, chug it back down, and keep drawing the stadium like my insecurity depends on it. THE END.

To help cleanse the palate, these last few drawings are from after I left the staircase to explore Harvard's version of Old Campus. There was a girl wearing an incredible jacket that reaffirmed that females have cornered the market on aesthetics, a building called Matthews Hall, and what I believe is Prescott Street.

Despite the urinous sidequest, I'd say Harvard was pretty good games. Loved the architecture, loved Leverett House, loved seeing healthy Boston Terriers out and about while mine was painfully dying back home, loved feeling like a lonely Yalie again. Or something.

Reuxben

nts_fatgirlswearingprada

note to self #57: fallon hard times
Unfortunately note to self by the hideous jack kelly, returns with a now increased output of five comics per week, this episode being collectively called "fat girls wearing prada." jack kelly opens with a comic that is his poor attempt at being politically aware, but be honest, jack kelly, all you know of politics is what Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Conan O'Brien, and Jimmy Fallon approve of you to know about. I double dog dare you to argue otherwise, jack kelly.

ZLM_LightTruth

Don't kid yourself, it's about to suck a lot more now.
Zero Like Me #161:
Light Truth

Com_Burrly

Study: March Insanity
Patient: #003
Department: Historical Forensics Commission
Case: Regicidal properties of the candius regalis strain

nts_cashcowsslashsows

note to self #53: blues
Like the mudstains in your underpants, note to self, by the Quasimodian jack kelly, returns with four more comics that put the "stupid" in "stupid comics," starting with a comic that is jack kelly's way of showing he cares, I guess. But jack kelly is a jerk, though--why shouldn't rich people be able to get away with playing with money and capitalizing on dead or dying people if it's for a good cause? And by good cause, I of course mean self promotion. Rich people are inherently superior to normal people, and are vastly superior to poor people, so if they want to use their money for publicity stunts, that is their right, and I salute them. Or at least I would if I could afford arms, but I sold them for food because I'm living in a van down by the river.

ZLM_Microwave-BathtubDreams

Time for payback--this time it's personal.
Zero Like Me #160:
Microwave-Bathtub Dreams

ZLM_CTLameO

Maybe next time you'll think twice about being so poor you can't afford better service, n00b.
Zero Like Me #159:
CT Lame-O

nts_poopquiz

nts_nobuttypoopnobuttygethurt

note to self #45: back me up, ladies
Like a wad of plaque wedged between your gums, note to self, by that walking argument-for-abortion, jack kelly, returns with another set of comics nobody asked for, starting with a comic that is yet another entry into an already brimming file of evidence on how ignorant and pernicious jack kelly really is. How dare he suggest that it's gotten to the point where it's socially acceptable to characterize all men as idiots! What an idiot, man!

Fun_YouKnowWhatTheyDoToGuysLikeUsInShinjuku

#SingItForJapan
From California, USA.

I hope Japan gets/stays Safe and Sound.

Com_Affinity

Study: March Insanity
Patient: #002
Department: Prosthetic Commissions Laboratory
Case: Intertextuality of solemn colossusi and darksteel simulacra

nts_luminousaluminumalumni

 

note to self #41: quentin terantino had a theory
Like an unsightly mole, note to self, by the ever-atrocious jack kelly, is just as present as ever, beginning with a comic that shows how small-minded jack kelly really is.

ZLM_CollegeStreet

Interesting.
Zero Like Me #158:
College Street For Broken Hearts

Com_SClub7

A hemisphere-spanning commission.

nts_jacksonpolanski

note to self #37: maneuver
Despite my best efforts, today is the day of note to self, by the ever fecally-endowed jack kelly, starting with a comic that shows how selfish jack kelly is. We went to Yale, you jerk, we must do everything shy of suicide to help everybody around us and smile every bit of the way. And for fart's sake, learn to draw, you hack.

 

note to self #38: lush
You know jack kelly is full of it, right? He's the meanest boozebag I've ever seen. And I've seen drunk DKE brothers.

 

note to self #39: thug life
I got a tattoo that says "<-- I'm with stupid", so that when I am with jack kelly, people will know that he is stupid.

 

note to self #40: roman polanski
Come on, are you serious? You really can't separate the individual from the art? Do you seriously not make the distinction betwee--blaaarhghghhghgh--sorry I think I vomited a little in my mouth. Now what was I talking about, again?

Reuxben

ZLM_TariqAndAhmir

Sticky fingers show you care.
Zero Like Me #157:
Tariq and Ahmir

Com_Flowerz

Study: March Insanity
Patient: #001
Department: Center for Botanical Commissions
Case: Horticultural Implications of the Z-Space Continuum

ZLM_Pressure

They used to date. Or something.
Zero Like Me #156:
Pressure

nts_fecality

 

note to self #33: cat fat
Slight change of scheduling--Zero Like Me will be posted on Wednesday, so today is note to self, by that walking turd bomb jack kelly, starting with a comic that's jack kelly's attempt at being sensitive.

 

note to self #34: cake
I can tell that jack kelly is going the distance. Yeah, jack kelly, that was sarcasm, you post-it-noting idiot.

 

note to self #35: instruments
Congratulations, jack kelly, you just achieved a brand new level of ignorance. Have you never heard of these guys? Have you never heard this? Ugh. Why do I even try to get through to you?

 

note to self #36: fecal temporality
Words escape me, jack kelly. Words escape me. They escape me in a luscious flow of chunky browns and reds.

Reuxben

Fun_TonyTonyTony

What do you get when you mix Motion City Soundtrack drummer and bicep reduction enthusiast Tony Thaxton with One Piece Straw Hat medical reindeer Tony Tony Chopper?

nts_svufanfic

note to self #29: celebrity
It is my great dishonor to open the month of March at Removal, with a round of note to self by the horrific and lamentable jack kelly. Up first is a comic based on how jack kelly treats anyone who makes eye contact with him. Also, is that a cell phone or some kind of grenade? Learn to draw, doofus.

note to self #30: baby
Ugh. Thanks, jack kelly, as if we didn't have enough blatant ignorance in the word, you freaking tool.

note to self #31: say hi
That one's actually based on the last time I tried to talk to jack kelly about his controversial views on fecal matter. True story.

note to self #32: creepy uncle
Ok, jack kelly, that's WAY too much information. You need to get yourself either some help or some cyanide. Just do what you gotta do and shut up about it. And STOP watching SVU, you weirdo.

Reuxben